An Ode to Hilary Duff

Part One (because there’s a lot to cover)

Every September, my school held a fair day which included food stalls and mediocre arcade games followed by a concert watched by the whole school, which was always the highlight of the day. A rigorous audition process meant that this concert featured only the school’s best musical talent. Naturally, I was selected (after my Mum made a phone call to the school to reconsider my originally rejected audition). The song I chose to sing was Someone’s Watching Over Me by Hilary Duff.

It was my first solo performance outside of school choir. I was so nervous that I thought I was going to throw up. My Mum had given me a pep-talk the night before. In an attempt to uplift me, she had asked me what I thought the song was about. To follow your heart, I said. She nodded her head in the way a teacher would when you answered the question wrong but with enthusiasm. Yes and what else? I thought deeply for a moment. Not giving up? She took a deep breath. Oh! Someone’s watching over me? Elated that I finally figured it out despite it being the title of the song. Yes! So remember that tomorrow, Kayla. I don’t know exactly who I pictured watching over me. Perhaps Hilary’s brother in Raise Your Voice?

I started my performance with the microphone secured to the stand. I was wearing pastel green Converse shoes and a belt that only 2005 could forgive. Surprisingly once the chorus came around, I had the urge to take the microphone off the stand and walk around the stage. I looked out to the crowd and saw my friends cheering me on so I walked over to high-five them mid-song. I had basically stolen all of Hilary’s stage moves from The Girl Can Rock DVD footage. I was this shy, lanky, awkward 13 year old who had gone through her own Metamorphosis in front of the whole school.

This concert officially put me on the map, as before this performance, nobody knew who I was. I was then known as that girl who sang that song. Talk about a rise in social status!

This Metamorphosis of mine didn’t exactly happen overnight. It all started with me being obsessed with Lizzie McGuire and Hilary Duff’s criminally underrated Christmas album, Santa Claus Lane. Many years later, I even travelled to Italy with the hopes of having my sing to me Paolo moment. Spoiler alert: it didn’t happen. What made me the Hilary Duff fan I am today though was her Metamorphosis album and her self-titled album. Then there was her The Girl Can Rock DVD that I watched over and over again like it was my job.

Now let’s go back, back to the beginning…

Metamorphosis was an album that taught young girls everywhere how to spell Metamorphosis. It was with this album Hilary moved out of Lizzie’s shadow and we got to know the girl behind the character. Not to mention, the earth, the sun, the stars all aligned when Metamorphosis was finally uploaded to streaming services in 2020. I’m sorry to butterflies everywhere but Hilary Duff’s Metamorphosis is the only metamorphosis I care about.

The lead single from Metamorphosis was So Yesterday. A song I used to sing at the top of my lungs about my non-existent ex-boyfriend. Now, let’s talk about the music video. Hilary appears to have broken up with her boyfriend but it’s no big deal because she’s just a bird that’s already flown away, right? Well, the video starts with Hilary using binoculars to spy on her ex as he surfs at the beach. While he is out in the water, Hilary steals his clothes. Most notably, a shirt which reads Everything is Bigger in Texas. She goes on to spend the day taking Polaroids of random people on the street wearing his shirt. The guy ends up finding these Polaroids in his mailbox after Hilary anonymously leaves them there. Despite him being understandably confused, he doesn’t call the authorities. The next time we see him, he has received a package that a barefoot Hilary left on his doorstep. He opens the package to find his stolen things and a Polaroid of Hilary wearing a shirt that reads you’re so yesterday.

Okay, I say this With Love Hilary, but… I have questions. Did you have the shirt professionally made? Or did you personally iron-on transfer the lyrics? Either way, that seems to be a lot of effort for some guy who is so yesterday. I just feel like that time could’ve been better spent going for a walk, going to therapy or even listening to your own song that reminds us that if it’s over, let it go. Of course, Hilary can pull off the crazy and still comes across endearing and sweet while committing multiple crimes. I don’t know how many times Hilary flicked her hair around in this video, but it was enough for me to forget about the questionable video narrative and sing haven’t you heard that I’m gonna be okay to my Chad Michael Murray poster.

Another single from this album was Come Clean. Some of you may know Come Clean as the theme song for the TV show Laguna Beach but I prefer to think of it as one of the best songs of all time. I must confess that I used to think the lyrics were I’m shitting, shitting every colour. Little me sincerely thought Hilary Duff had the runs. However, what she was really singing about was shedding every colour and trying to find a pigment of truth beneath her skin. Or whatever that means. I like to sing Come Clean in the shower and whenever a single rain drop falls from the sky.

My Hilary Duff obsession grew exponentially the more I got to know her through interviews and behind the scenes footage. I watched The Girl Can Rock DVD an unhealthy amount of times. Hilary would often introduce herself to the camera by saying hey you guys, I’m Hilary Duff as we followed her shopping, rehearsing for her upcoming tour and to meet and greets. At one point, she is seen working with a choreographer and introducing her band to the camera; right here, we have Kale and he plays bass. And he’s got fun hair so we fling our hair around all the time. To which he responds we rock, me and Hilary. I was obsessed with a shopping trip she goes on where she tries on a pair of heeled flip flops and buys matching dog pyjamas for her and her Aunt. I would watch the scene of her showing us her tour bus over and over again. Nothing was more punk-rock to me than her tour bus.

For her self-titled album, Hilary adopted a rock-ish edge that was reminiscent of Avril Lavigne and Ashlee Simpson. Her smoked eyeshadow, ripped jeans and heavier guitar-driven songs helped transform her from the girl next door to the girl next door’s cooler, edgier big sister. And boy, did we eat it up. When listening to Rock This World, I would shake my hair and crawl on the floor like I was Piper Perabo dancing on the bar in Coyote Ugly. I would mouth the lyrics to The Getaway in front of my mirror while performing to my sold out crowd of no one. Then there was Haters. My jaw hit the floor when Hilary sang you’re the queen of superficiality, keep your lies out of my reality. Hilary was in a highly-publicised feud with Lindsay Lohan at the time of this album release, so it’s fair to assume she considered Lindsay to be one of her haters. My head was spinning from the groundbreaking lyricist that is Hilary Duff who knew how to perfectly articulate the layers and complexities of a teen girl fight. Before there was Better Than Revenge by Taylor Swift, there was Haters by Hilary Duff. What’s hilarious is just two songs later, Hilary is singing about following your heart in Someone’s Watching Over Me. Then there’s Jericho. I had no idea where Jericho was or why the song made me cry but I wanted to go on a road trip there just so I could whisper one more mile to Jericho.

During a time when I wasn't sure who I was, I could find strength through Hilary Duff and borrow her confidence for a moment. I guess you could say that Hilary’s Metamorphosis gave me wings. Hilary was the original teenage dream. She was someone we could see ourselves in and pin our wildest dreams on. She made it possible for Disney stars to transition into the pop world with ease. Without Hilary Duff, there would be no Miley Cyrus, Selena Gomez or Olivia Rodrigo.

I’m so glad I got to experience Hilary Duff as a teen idol in real time. Following her career opened my eyes to a whole other world outside of my bedroom. I think a big part of why I would watch her DVDs over and over again was because it brought me a sense of comfort and allowed me to get lost in her world. There’s a lot of things out of your control as a kid but one thing I always had was my love of pop music. Even now, when I’m going through a challenging time I like to retreat back to Hilary’s old music. It reminds me of the good times and that there’s more good times to be had. As I write this, I am listening to why not take a crazy chance, why not do a crazy dance and it is helping me more than therapy ever has.

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Writing about Hilary Duff is so fun for me. What Hilary Duff moment should I write about next?